10 tips for postpartum anxiety

Postpartum anxiety is the elephant in the room nobody talks about, yet affects 1 in 5 women. In other words 20% of the women who have given birth are silently dealing with the elephant in the room.

So what can we do? We can talk about it, openly, frequently, and in all honesty, so that those 1 in 5 women know that they are not alone, they are not broken, and are in fact part of a large tribe of women who see them and understand them.

As a mother of five young children, see you. As a mother who battled postpartum anxiety for 18 months I stand in solidarity with you.

Postpartum anxiety can strike during pregnancy (antenatal) or within the year after birth and is characterised by psychological anxiety, physiological anxiety as well as intrusive thoughts. For a full and complete description of how these can manifest, watch our recent video.

Our top tips!

1. Acknowledge what it is and how you feel

The first thing to do when you experience postpartum anxiety is to actually rationalise with yourself and acknowledge what is happening physically and within your mind. Of course hormones play a large role, but the second part of this is your brain trying to adapt to the reality that a portion of your heart, your baby, is now outside of your belly, vulnerable and at risk. As it tries to mitigate these risks, this causes anxiety and most importantly intrusive thoughts.

2. Practice mindfulness and relaxation techniques

I know I’m not the first person to tell you that meditation, yoga and breathing exercises are good for you, but as a fellow mom who has dealt with PPA, I urge you to incorporate these in your daily practice and to keep two ‘emergency’ techniques for harder moments, such as 10 deep breaths or the 5,4,3,2,1 grounding method.

3. Build your support circle

When dealing with PPA, women have a tendency to isolate themselves feeling afraid of sharing their feelings which further accentuates the fear, anxiety and worry. Identify one or two friends who you trust to tell you are dealing with PPA and would like a buddy to speak to on harder days. Make sure you sit your partner down and explain what you are going through, how this feels, how it affects you, and what you need from them.

4. Nourish your body

Part of what makes PPA so difficult is the fact that it teams up with postpartum depletion to further exhaust women. We need to remember as a society that creating a person, birthing that person, and caring for them is a LOT. Your body has literally created life… You are a goddess… even when you don’t feel like it with your mom bun. Take a look at that child… you gave him life. Your body needs nourishing food, hydration, rest and to refuel from not only pregnancy but the marathon that is birth. And that takes a whole lot longer than 6 weeks! SAY IT LOUD FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!

5. You NEED sleep

Surprise surprise the baby sleep fairy talks about sleep! PPA is severely aggravated by lack of sleep. Your brain, your hormones, your entire body has absolutely no chance whatsoever to recover if it is not getting enough rest. This idea that sleep deprivation is okay and normal for mothers is arguably one of the most harmful lies our society has built. You need sleep like you need oxygen and water which means you need a partner who can get up in the morning so you can rest. The ability to nap in the early days postpartum and the support and resources to get a sleep consultant if you and your little one are not getting adequate rest. If this is you feel free to reach out to us at BeBaby.

6. Set realistic expectations

Girl she is lying… Yes, that mother wearing the perfect cream coloured sweat suit with her not-so-messy mom bun and her perfectly crafted star shaped meatloaf. She is full of poop. You are not going to have a magazine worthy house after giving birth, you won't have time to make beef wellington every night, and you most likely will forgo wearing bras for a while as well. Take it from a type A mom of five, give yourself some grace.

7. Watch out for caffeine and sugar

I’m not going to say not to drink coffee. I love coffee so much I invented a self-heating mug for it! But you do want to be mindful and switch to decaf after your second cup and watch your soda intake because it does increase physiological anxiety, and so does sugar. Opt for fruit based sugars instead of candy when possible and when you do enjoy a nice treat be mindful to not rinse it down with pop or coffee!

8. Self-care is your friend

Self-care has a purpose: it fills your cup so you can properly fill those of the little ones you love. This idea that mothers should be superhuman and somehow never need to reset is extremely harmful. You need self- care to feel like you. That may be reading a book, a bubble bath or a standing date on fridays to get a pedicure with a good friend.

9. Use social media, don’t let it use you

We live in an angry world. Decades of wars, covid, inflation… People are angry and they are looking to pick a fight with you online because let's be honest if they are being jerks you can’t punch them in the nose through a screen. Clean up your socials to ensure you only see things that make you feel happier and better. People who post ‘click bait’ or purposefully scary or anger triggering content are doing it to make your blood pressure boil because attention is attention and they want more clicks. Curate the content you consume to serve you.

10. Develop a routine

Routines are easy ways for us to regain ‘control’ throughout the day when things inevitably don’t go as planned. Establishing simple calming routines at various moments in the day will make you feel more secure when your mind is running at 1000 miles an hour.

The best thing you can do for PPA is to educate yourself by joining a program like those offered at BeBaby so that you can get clear answers of what your baby or child needs when you request them and have  Peaceful Parenting journey. And if you do all of these things and still feel like you aren’t completely back to yourself don’t be afraid to seek the help of a physician for an anti-anxiety prescription to help you get over the hump.

My only regret was waiting 18 months to ask myself, it’s good to be me!

Book a complimentary call with the BeBaby team.